First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser
Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser
T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style
Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of
humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week
301, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071;
fax them to 202-334-4312; or submit them via Internet to this address:
losers@washpost.com. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in
the "subject" field. Also, please do not append "attachments," which
tend not to be read. Entries must be received on or before Monday, June
8. Important: Please include your postal address and phone number.
Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the
right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase
necessary. Today's Thing No One Thinks About was written by David Genser
of Arlington. Employees of The Washington Post and members of their
immediate families are not eligible for prizes.
Report from Week 298,
in which you were asked to construct sentences or passages by using only
your right typing hand. There was a strange recurrence of theme. We
attribute it to the evil gods of the keyboard, the same perverse
individuals who gave us the Num Lock key.
Honorable Mentions:
Mommy, look. Pop jump up, pump pill in hoop. (Tony Alleyne, Fort Washington)
Yoko Ono & no John L. = No polyphony,only plink, plink, plink.
(Dudley Thompson, Silver Spring)
Noon in Ohio: Phony Phil, Punkin Polly, Jumpin Jimmy, Killjoy Kim, Hippy
Holly, Jolly John & Molly (in mink) hook up & join in pupil
opinion poll on Monopoly.
(Linda B. Jones, Bowie)
Lipo: Lookin' lumpy. Nip my hip, plump my lip. (Barbara Collier, Garrett Park; Joyce and Alli Rains, Bethesda)
Loophol&. (Patrick Wright, Arlington)
No nooky, pop? Loin puny, limp? Pop yon pill. (George Wright, Greenbelt; Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Jiminy, no joy in pukin' uphill. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)
7-ll = milk & junk. (Mike Genz, La Plata)
Lollipop lollipop, oh lolli-lollipop.
Lollipop lollipop, oh lolli-lollipop.
Lollipop lollipop, oh lolli-lollipop.
Lollipop.
(Dave Ferry, Leesburg;
William M. Powell, Arlington)
John L. & Yoko Ono
Mop-hunk & hippy punk,
Hummin' "No. 9, No. 9 ommm" in limo.
(Ralph Scott, Washington)
"Oh Jimmy ... ohhhh ... ooooohhhhh. ... Ooooooooohhhhhh Jimmmmmmmmmyyyyy....."
"Uh, I'm Phil."
(Andrew M. Cohn, Springfield)
Phony? Moi?
(Ralph Scott, Washington;
Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)
Polyp in poop loop'll kill you.
(Sandra Hull, Arlington)
Mmmmm. Yummy HOHO. Uh-oh, no milk? Only Yoo Hoo? Yukko.
(Jean Sorensen, Herndon)
I'm on my "non-mommy" pill.
(Don Cooper, Burke)
I'm O.J. I loom. I kill.
(Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
Pull my pinky. "Poo."
(Sandra Hull, Arlington)
Ho' = Nympho in nylon, pump, mink.
(Dudley Thompson, Silver Spring)
pi = 90 - 87 + .9 - .8 + .09 - .07 ...
(Lee Mayer and Paul Laporte, Washington)
I h8 my m8 K8.
I kill K8*
I'm inm8.
*pill in milk.
(Michael J. Hammer, Arlington)I HATE THIS(John Kammer, Herndon)
My mink ploy: I'll boink.
(Bob Dalton, Beaumont, Tex.)
I mull my "inny." Ommmmm ...
(David Genser, Arlington)
"Hi. You look yummy."
"Ooooh, John."
"No, Jim."
"No, John. Look, my pimp."
"Uh-oh."
(David Genser, Arlington)